Writing my very first blog, I always knew this day would catch up with me. The day when I'd sit down to write with no clear intent as to what I want to say. With nothing but, limited concentration, unsubstantial ideas, and hazy thoughts that nebulize and evaporate into cloud of nothingness; for the first time in a long time I have writer's block. I hate it; it feels like someone has jammed and jailed my communicative skills, locked them up and thrown away the key.
Throughout the course of this week I've written and edited my ideas a countless number of times, finally shunning them into inexistence with the help of the 'delete' button. Usually I have no problem at all with putting thoughts on paper, and I'm proud to say that it's my niche, my talent, my one and only gift, but I'm currently tearing my hair out trying to string together something that I deem blog worthy. And for the life of me, I just can't do it. Each time I start, I end up with a blank page. And this week I've stared at too many blank pages for my liking. A blank page to someone who has writer's block is like a black hole to a nyctophobic. Highly disconcerting. The very fact that each time I end up staring at a white screen, the consequence of my inability to communicate, makes it even harder to write anything at all. The irony. But it's the unanticipated, uninvited, inability to do something which so often comes with ease that is the most frustrating thing. My ability for witty, effortless communication seems to have ceased, cut off dead in it's tracks with no exact explanation as to why.
They say writer's block is the result of an author's lack of inspiration. After a spout of fugacious self-evaluation I think it's safe to say I'm not in this category. Thankfully, I am surrounded by inspiration on a daily basis; blog suggestions from friends, farcical experiences, circumstantial notions all of which contribute to the development of my ideas. But as I sit here scrolling through endless, potential blog topics typed and saved in my blackberry, I cannot even make the decision to pick one idea, let alone start writing about it. I know that whichever topic I choose, my ideas will be nonsensical, my paragraphs will be ill-flowing and my page will end up blank. Again. Perhaps I'm feeling an overwhelming pressure to write something magical, to write my best blog yet. Perhaps subconsciously, I am trying to surpass my own expectations, or perhaps it's the steady realisation that my blatant lack of equanimity is precisely what's causing my current inutility. But whatever the reason, what better way to overcome writer's block then start writing about it.
A special thank you to Syience.
