Toilets and Changing Rooms

Male and female toilets are different worlds...or so I imagine judging by common conceptions. There are fundamental differences between the two. Take for instance nightclub toilets. The toilets with the queue outside will always be the ladies. Fact. But it doesn't stop there. A female toilet is a nightclub in itself- it's a social minefield- just without men. You walk in and it's a world of chatter, dancing, double cubicle get togethers and bitching. Nightclub toilets offer multiple purposes for women, and we like to take our time. Women don't necessarily go to the toilet to pee; they go in groups and they go to talk. If one wants to go, the others will follow like a pride of lionesses. For a woman, a toilet offers a quieter atmosphere (unlike the dance floor) for a good bonding session whilst drunk. It doesn't even have to be a bonding session with our friend! We will happily start up a conversation with the girl applying make-up in the next mirror "You're so pretty." Or the girl who has incredible shoes: "Where did you get those?!" Or strike up a conversation with the hand that reaches under cubicle and asks for some loo roll; we don't even have to see your face and we'll happily sit and talk to a complete stranger behind a cubicle wall! The general toilet rule is: if we're drunk we'll talk to anyone.

For men on the other hand, it serves one use: to piss. 
Piss, wipe (hopefully), flush, buy condoms if you think you'll get lucky, leave. There is no chat, no bitching, no sharing urinals and definitely no "let's pee together!" Toilets are like sex to men. Get in, do your thing, and get out.

But female changing rooms are a different ball game altogether, and women often assume that the same approachable openness which occurs in nightclub toilets can be applied in communal changing rooms. But I have to draw the line. I beg to differ.

The other day I stripped down in the changing rooms after my gym workout, and chose a quiet, private spot to undress. There I was peeling off layer by sweaty layer, making sure to conceal my 'lady bits', and fumbling with my towel when a woman decided to unpack her things in a locker adjacent to me and stand unabashedly watching me undress like I was a burlesque dancer at a strip show. Except I'm not dancer and this wasn't a strip club. She was practically treading on my toes! I felt completely violated and discreetly covered my modesty; I am not your femme fatale type. Of course if I was that hung up on having my privacy I would've used a cubicle, but I figured with 200 odd lockers that someone with any common sense and respect of personal space would chose to keep themselves to themselves. Apparently I am wrong. Given this situation it seems completely acceptable to leer at naked strangers in public. I think not. Just because I chose to change in a communal changing room it's not an invitation to gawp at my boobs. Blatant voyeurism is not a good look. But what do you do in that situation? Turn around and say "Excuse me, can you stop looking at my minge you lecherous perv?" No. You just have to get on with it and let her watch, all the while feeling like someones else's cheap thrill. Would this ever happen in a male changing room?

I cannot speak for what goes on in men's changing rooms, but I am almost certain it is not the usual practice. That being said, a male friend of mine did once tell me he came across a man who cocked his leg up on the seat next to him and rubbed his ball sack in his face telling him he had "a cute ass". Wrong. In so many ways.

Let's not overstep the mark.